I’ve often received weird messages,
Nothing to do with me,
They come through the cyber passages
So called, that would set you free,
But then came one with an evil turn
It scuttled on out, then hid,
Accusingly, it appeared to me
And said, ‘I know what you did!’

Just that, ‘I know what you did,’ it said,
And nothing much more than that,
I had no idea just what it meant
It had just popped up, in chat.
There wasn’t a name, there wasn’t a face
To tell me who it was from,
I tried at first to ignore it, but
It dropped on me like a bomb.

In short, my friends had received the note
And saw it addressed to me,
It seems it had gone my contacts round
And roused curiosity,
For over the next few days they all
Called in, just one by one,
Asking the same thing, overall,
‘Just what was it that you’ve done?’

Of course, I replied in every case
‘I really haven’t a clue,
People make accusations but
It doesn’t mean they are true.’
It was then that the evil jokes began
For some of them like to kid,
To me, it wasn’t so funny when
They asked, ‘Where’s the body hid?’

I snapped on back, ‘Get serious!’
I wasn’t at all impressed,
‘How would you feel if this was you,
Do you think you’d be distressed?’
For some of my so-called ‘friends’ it seems
My answer raised their ire,
For more than one called a smoking gun,
And ‘There’s no smoke without fire!’

I felt determined to let it go,
To ignore the joke, at least,
But then appeared on my Facebook page
The Internet Police.
They said, ‘We need to investigate,
A complaint’s been made of you,’
I sent them back, ‘It’s a veiled attack
And it certainly isn’t true.’

But the police came round, kicked in my door,
And started to search the place,
Acting like thugs, they tore apart
What little I had of grace.
They packed my only computer up
To cart it out to their van,
That stood outside on the pavement like
I was a wanted man.

‘What do you want my computer for,
I need it to use for work.’
‘You’ll get it back when we’ve checked it out
If you’re not a total ****.
You might be a dangerous *******,
It’s evidence that we seek,
If not, then after we search your files
You’ll get it back next week.’

The neighbours were gathered around the van
With a scandal in their sights,
They knew that something was going down
That I must have been got to rights.
They pointed fingers and muttered low
In delight, this was a treat,
And for days they stared, and I despaired
When they spat at me in the street.

It matters not if you’re innocent,
It matters not if you cry,
Nobody listens to what you say
They mutter, ‘Deny, deny.’
Your name is suddenly tainted when
A finger points at you,
Forever you will be painted with
The words, ‘What did you do?’

I finally got my PC back
And it didn’t take a week,
But not a word of apology
Though I found that revenge is sweet.
They sacked the Police Commissioner
And I’m sure that it wasn’t fun,
When someone wrote on his Facebook page
‘I know just what you’ve done!’

David Lewis Paget