I spent the night salting my face
               considering past loves, and missing the blade

I walked around an apartment that wasn't mine
           feeling like ghost cursed to walk a in a life that never wanted me
   Pleading to live
               I hear her screaming - begging me to fight through it
        Telling me a love is coming, but I'm already on borrowed time
Today I'm shaking
   Wondering how this became my life
             How I got here again
  It should never have been me
         I should never have lived
Last night I coudln't find a pill, bottle, or knife

So today I'm shaking

Terrified of feeling everything that's been building
   how did I get here?
          
                 and why did I believe I could do this?