I could deal with the pain.
I could deal with this hurt
this new test,
this horrible challenge.
I could deal with it if you were here.
Instead, the pain is doubled.
Every time something happens,
I think, "If only you were here,
we could talk about it.
You would know what to do."
But you're not, so it hurts.
It hurts twice as much.
And I'm not sure I can handle it.