The newspaper reported he was
    the kind of kid
who rode home on a crowded school bus
sitting alone
looking out a window

Silent
shy
socially awkward
he kept to himself

He appeared in a nightmare I had
after that  tragic December morning
at Sandy Hook:
I only saw him from the back
moving quickly from a car
carrying a rifle
shooting his way
through a locked glass door

Then I woke up
cold
sweaty
a knot in my stomach

I never saw his face in the nightmare
just him
moving quickly
like a phantom
in a hurry