i know what it’s like trust me on this one to be betrayed by your own mind a handful of pills morning and then after breakfast and then after dinner the dreaded 500 calories needed to make the magic work like how am i gonna get skinny if i eat like this
i’ve been betrayed by my own hand when the right took the razor store bought a dollar a dozen or filched away in my pocket but that was only one time to the left arm and i cried that first time but only because of how much it bled and boy did it bleed
i betrayed myself once for four years with every cut and scrape and lapse and relapse it never ends it never ends until it does and you don’t know what to do with yourself but it does not make you weak
and then i gave myself up to the wolves with a handful of pills choked down with a bubbly water because i couldn’t take them with water to save my life and i went to sleep that night fully prepared not to wake up in the morning like that old man in the nursery rhyme
i became a master of faking a smile but sometimes i over share and accidentally give people a glimpse of the shattered pieces beneath my calm facade and they either look at me with pity or back away slowly i don’t wanna be pitied but some of them stay
and i understand what you are going through because i have been there in that same hell since i was twelve since that first cut since that first overdose since that first therapist since that first hospital visit but we just need to keep going
we’re alright we’re alright not because we really are but because people need us to be and i am right there beside you i will hold your hand through the constant struggle against our own minds because you will not lose this battle i understand i get it i am here for you
the kids can’t be alright until people listen to us take us seriously ****** because this is not a game nobody willingly picks up the board they try to throw down the pieces but they are stuck to our hands and they won’t come off this is something you can’t shake off but we’re alright