I just want to not want this

But I do

I want this

Even though I can already see my heart

Dangling above a meat grinder

By a capillary vein

Pumping with the pace of desperation

That our lips might touch

I wish I didn’t want to kiss you

But I do

You are not supposed to stand so close

I can feel your breath

It is sweet when I inhale it

And I know your tongue must taste like

The coffee I am watching you drink

All the right kinds of bitter

I don’t want

To sleep alone anymore

And I don’t want

To continue guessing

What you might be thinking or doing

At this very moment

And because I don’t want anything to be unrequited between us

Right now

I’m drinking a tall can

And wondering how I can make my house not haunted

And am secretly loving you

I am secretly loving you

And all I want

The only thing

Is for you to love me back

In any way you can