A great man said fatigue makes cowards of us all. When I tire I falter. After 72 straight hours of flying at An Loc, I slept with my eyes open and was terrified every moment I was conscious. No more wars for me, an old man 50 years later, an old body bent on a different life. When I am weary I see the raw meat on the floor and think a new life is impossible but maybe some variations on a theme could happen. I feel like a worn out raccoon treed by the hounds of life. I feel giddy with self-doubt as if the world is telling me something I don't want to hear. "Devouring time blunt thou thy lion's paws." And I will sleep and tomorrow what is impossible tonight might even seem likely.