hey, are you awake?
if you're not, don't bother texting me back in the morning, but if you are I could really use someone to talk to.
I just watched a movie about a girl who was into older men. she was ***** as a little girl, that was her reasoning behind it. the main character reminded me of well, me, and I strated to wonder if i too was sexually abused when I was younger and have no memory of it.
I'm sad.
I don't actually know why I'm talking to you, i mean let's be honest you hate me.
additionally, you think I bring these things upon myself. you couldn't care less about my emotional state of mind because you just assume I'm messed up because of the drugs and the *** and maybe you're right.
I don't care.
I'm still sad.
I'm drunk, too.
I miss you though.
cigarettes don't give me the warmth that you did, no matter how many I smoke.
again, I don't know why I'm talking to you, and I don't quite know where I'm going with this either.
maybe I want you to know that I still exist, or maybe I want you to - I don't know what I want you to do.
I need your wisdom, that's it.
No, I really just need you.
My brother left today.
I cried a lot, and the house feels different without you.
I meant him. the house feels different without him.
you know when you brain takes over your fingers and types what it's really trying to say? I guess that's what I was really trying to say.
I'm sorry to have been such a bother. but it feels nice to tell these things to someone, even if it's to the man who broke my heart.