To be sure, it's unconventional;
Seems as though loving someone ought to have boundaries --
"Kissing means romance"
"Saying 'I love you' means commitment"
"Sleeping together means - "
But what does that ******* mean?
Nothing more, just sleeping.
So safe it felt like I could breathe.

To tell someone, "I slept the night,
better then I ever have,
my head on his chest and wrapped in the warmest arms."
They'll assure me it's a love affair.
How can I defend against -- that --
When I'm not even sure, really, if they're right.

I've been in love (or so I thought) before.
It felt different but who's to say that wasn't the abuse.
Thought loving someone, romantically and proper, meant hurting.
Yearning, confusing, burning, the occasional glorious moment
When they let you come close enough to touch
Fingertips.
Thought it was about putting up with pain because
they were worth it.

But the way I feel now isn't like
Hurting myself to make them happy or okay --
In fact, it's just the opposite.
I'm a better person, safer in my own skin, happier;
I want to live with you and sleep with you and hold your hands
But I never want to kiss you more than a peck upon the forehead.