i sit down,
lean back against the wall,
blow a stream of smoke out of my mouth,
and declare,
"**** life, **** people, i'm going to do this on my own".

then you walk by

and once again i find myself lost
in a sea of emotions
struggling to find the nearest life buoy
fighting against the waves
that threaten to consume me.

because the truth is,
no matter how many cigarettes i smoke
no matter how many floors i sit on
no matter how many walls i lean against
the only lifeline i need

is you.