I haven't smoked once today for the first time in weeks. Dear God - please, give me a cigarette. Please give me a line or a drag of a joint, or a glass of wine or a hug or some sunlight.
Work in seven hours and I've been crying all evening. But why? For no **** reason. Paid tomorrow, and I might spend it all on drugs or a tattoo, or tobacco or I wonder could I pay someone to love me.
I'm trapped in an I'm-not-OK-holeβ in a *******. In a thousand-of-miles-from-the-city hole.
I'm a session moth. Wake up like a ******, rollie on the bedside locker. Not knowing where I am or how I got there. Jump into the nearest car and just say "drive" and eat nothing but still look fat.
This morning I was suicidal, I nearly walked out in front of a truck. But it was alright, I remembered I hadn't taken my pill in a day or two, stopped crying and went back to work.