I get through my day with lying smiles and fake laughter.
I get up everyday and dress like everything is okay.
I've gotten so good at pretending....
Nobody ever knows that I'm shattered inside.
That way I don't have to explain to people why I'm not okay.
Truthfully I'm more than not okay.
I'm dead inside.
The only reason I'm still physically alive...
Is so I don't cause this much pain to those I care for.
Which is more pain than most people can handle.
I live a loveless life.
I don't know how to love anymore.
I can say the words...
But the emotion just isn't there.
It's a horrible life to live.
I feel as though I am nothing.
Mentally I'm crying and screaming.
On the outside I'm smiling.
Wishing somebody would see my internal tears.
That way they could hold me close and pull me away from the darkness.
The way he did all those lifetimes ago.