it has been a week since you tried to die.
and I don't know if my body will ever recover because
you wanted your blood on my hands
but all I can feel is your pills pulsing through my veins
my heart hasn't steadied in days
and I'm not doing anything to make it anymore

you never loved me back.

and you can swear to me that it isn't true but it is
this isn't what love does
I thought you were love
I thought you were a band aid
or duct tape
or a seatbelt
or a map
or a lifejacket
but you are not a lifejacket
you are that huge ******* sea
swallowing me whole
you're afraid of the ocean
but you don't know a fear like this
maybe that's why the ocean scares you
maybe its too reflective
maybe you always knew you were going to do this
it's been so easy for you to forget you were all I knew I had

you never loved me back.

a week ago you tried to die.
a week ago you taught me a betrayal I've never known.
a week ago I found myself without a home.
I will never be able to come home again.
you will never be my home again.
I will never know home