I thought it was a need
that made me different
I thought I needed
something to redeem

I thought it was a need
for something magic
I thought I knew
the essence and the theme

It wasn't just a need for
something unusual
It wasn't just a feeling
That comes and goes

It wasn't just a thought
I couldn't process
It was just too painful
for me to show

I thought it was a need
for something stable
Thought that I deserved
a certain peace

I thought it was a need
for love and safety
I thought it was a need
for the strength to succeed

It wasn't just a need for
something eclectic
It wasn't just a feeling
That came and went

It wasn't just a dream
I couldn't possess
It was just too brutal
to understand

I thought it was a need
for self-actualization
Thought I needed space
and time to breathe

I thought it was a need
out of co-dependence
I could not fathom
the need to be free

It wasn't just a need
for something electric
It wasn't just a feeling
I couldn't arrange

It wasn't just a hope
for some affection
It was just the energy
we exchanged

I thought it was a need
for my own acceptance
Thought I could be
strong and still optimistic

I thought it was a need
that was unrealistic
But it was just another
weakness I could never admit

I thought it was a strength
Kept me indifferent
Thought it just a phase
I tried to pass through

I thought if I could
Give it some attention
Maybe I could learn
To stop blaming you

© 2002 Cheryl Klassen