Jun 2015
I think I'm still depressed.
I have trouble leaving my bed anymore.
It's a miracle if I wake up before 3 in the afternoon.
I like to talk to you on the phone so late, so maybe that's part of the problem.
I've never laid eyes on something so broken.
Sometimes, I listen to her poetry at night and I cry, because her voice reminds me of you and how we used to play it through out your stereo.
I always knew all the words.
You were always seemingly impressed.
I don't want to tell anybody about the sadness, because I am afraid of going back to that place.
I always think about Craig.
I think about how his chest heaves, because he's never experienced love.
Then again, it was love that broke me.
We are walking contradictions.
Both sad of lost love or too small proportions.
All I want to do is let my blankets envelope me in my coldness.
I want to think about the words you left on my lips.
You get so angry when I repeat
You cheated. You cheated. You ******* cheated.
And you say you feel so bad about it, but that's thing with people like you.
They never change and they leave people like me like glass in the bottom of feet.
We are paralyzed.
You say you want to go to sleep, but I just want you to sing me lullabies and read me poetry.
I have never been good enough to hear words of your ignition.
Your own mind.
You take pieces from TV shows and old movies.
You never let your pen write from your own mind.
I found your book, but I didn't buy it because every time I try to read a page I think
"HIM. HIM. THIS STORY IS WRITTEN WITH HIS HANDS"
You take away from stories and cloud my memory, so forgive me for not doing my homework last night
He wrote his name on my book when we went out to dinner.
He drew smiley faces all over it, but lashed out at me when I did it to his.
I used to shake when we would talk on the phone
And you will never understand how many tines I have choked back tears.
Remember February?
I cried myself to sleep every single night.
I distorted my habits, body, and mind to fit yours.
You laughed at me.
I wish my walls could speak to yours.
Mine would explain the darkness in the room
And yours would explain her pleasured moans.
I haven't left my bed in days.
I have trouble leaving my bed anymore.
It's a miracle if I wake up before 3 in the afternoon.
I like to talk to you on the phone so late, so maybe that's part of the problem.
I've never laid eyes on something so broken.
Sometimes, I listen to her poetry at night and I cry, because her voice reminds me of you and how we used to play it through out your stereo.
I always knew all the words.
You were always seemingly impressed.
I don't want to tell anybody about the sadness, because I am afraid of going back to that place.
I always think about Craig.
I think about how his chest heaves, because he's never experienced love.
Then again, it was love that broke me.
We are walking contradictions.
Both sad of lost love or too small proportions.
All I want to do is let my blankets envelope me in my coldness.
I want to think about the words you left on my lips.
You get so angry when I repeat
You cheated. You cheated. You ******* cheated.
And you say you feel so bad about it, but that's thing with people like you.
They never change and they leave people like me like glass in the bottom of feet.
We are paralyzed.
You say you want to go to sleep, but I just want you to sing me lullabies and read me poetry.
I have never been good enough to hear words of your ignition.
Your own mind.
You take pieces from TV shows and old movies.
You never let your pen write from your own mind.
I found your book, but I didn't buy it because every time I try to read a page I think
"HIM. HIM. THIS STORY IS WRITTEN WITH HIS HANDS"
You take away from stories and cloud my memory, so forgive me for not doing my homework last night
He wrote his name on my book when we went out to dinner.
He drew smiley faces all over it, but lashed out at me when I did it to his.
I used to shake when we would talk on the phone
And you will never understand how many tines I have choked back tears.
Remember February?
I cried myself to sleep every single night.
I distorted my habits, body, and mind to fit yours.
You laughed at me.
I wish my walls could speak to yours.
Mine would explain the darkness in the room
And yours would explain her pleasured moans.
I haven't left my bed in days.
