ive always had this trouble with words
yet everyone calls it a gift

"you're so smart" "your words are beautiful"

they haven't been in my mind
these words swirl around, they lose their meaning
my thoughts are on loop
phrases fly by
words come and go

misunderstanding - love - new - schizophrenic - restraint - hope

my words jumble in my head
making me feel angry and stupid because I can't sort them out
I don't know what any of this means

you can't tell me I'm smart
you can't possibly understand this
I don't get it

they think they know me, when I don't even know myself