Reality
Confused.
Terrified.
Not enough.
Never enough
Never going to be enough.
I’m told that these are lies
That I have been led to believe are the truth.
But they really are the truth.
And that’s really the issue here.
Were the false,
I would not care.
But they are real.

Dreams
Courageous.
Confident.
Exuberant.
Daring and caring.
Strong and brave.
Willing to do whatever it takes.
That’s who I am.
In my dreams, anyway.
Anything I want to be to any extent that I want it to be.
That’s who I am in my dreams
I am fantastic.

Great
When I was four, great was:
Seeing my friend.
Going to the pool.
A lemonade stand.
A Beach Trip.
At sever, it was:
Friends and parties and fun.
At fifteen it was
Seeing the world
For all that it’s worth.

Terrible
At four, terrible was simply:
A scrape or a scratch.
At sever, it was:
A friend moving far, far away.
Breaking a limb.
Having a fight..
At fifteen it was:
Losing a friend.
Realizing the world may not be
Generally good.

All
Once there was a guy who went in search of the fountain of youth.
He wanted it all:
Fame, fortune, and eternal life.
But then he would be there, watching all that he loves die.
We all want something out there that we think will make our lives better, but have not taken the time to consider how it would end up fareing for us.
We’re told that we are entitled to it all.
And we are not given a way to actually obtain any of it.
Oh my, my, my.
How fun it must be to be five years old and think a wish on a shooting star means a lot.
I believed.
Was it a mistake?

Nothing
If every single thing that we thought was stupid disappeared,
I guarantee you that it would all be missed.
Then we’d once again want what we can’t have.
I did not ask to figure out the world’s intricacies.
I have made friends with some writers.
You can always have more
Is a line that I have always adored.
Of course you can!
When there’s none left, you can fill it up.
But, when there’s no room left, you can only take less unless you are willing to hunt down another container.
Oddly enough, it is this nothingness that terrifies us.
But all success stories came from little or none.
Why do we love the tale but not want it, too?

Take It
What you wanted.
What you got.
Have some fun with it all.
When will you realize that you may have taken the one thing that we all desired, too?
What makes you think that you’re entitled to it?
How I feel every time something lovely comes into my sight and I get the thought to want it.
It was easier back when these thoughts did not consume me.
But I took a very foolish chance and now I’m here.
What I needed.
What I received.
Had lots of fun pretending.
Realized too late that I wanted something else.

Leave It*
Run.
Go.
Fly, fly away.
Doesn’t matter how you exit,
Just that you actually do.
Walk
Crawl.
I really couldn’t care less.
How can you care less than nothing?
You can’t.
Said that I deserved it all,
Everything that ended up coming my way.
Thanked you
For telling me the truth.
Thought it was out of a sort of kindness.
Wish I were right.
But then you really didn’t want me.
But still you stayed.
Why’d you mess with me like that?
How rude can you get?
I gave you all the space you needed.
So what gave you the right to leave without a second glance?