Jun 2015
So I was doing very little more than staring at the ceiling when I noticed that there was something really off about how I was. And then I saw her there and I realized that, well, I had fallen for one I cannot have.
And it is not because I am unlovable that I cannot have her. That may be the rationale that I seem to love placing on that, but not this time.
In this one instance, and this is really what makes it slightly amusing, the reason I knew it could not happen because she is a she. Now, I am not the one opposed to being with a girl, but I have a feeling that my very religious mother and father would flip a table at the mention of that.
Not to forget that my beliefs may also agree that it is not the best idea. Trust me, my small group leader is so very opposed to that idea, and so I really don’t have anywhere I can freely express these feelings and talk it out.
Because I believe in love and what it stands for. So I don't see much of an issue with what I feel, but everything I have been taught has led me to believe there is something wrong with me.
And my may claim that she has no issues with same *** marriage but I know that the view only pertains to those who are not her family. Were I to be that way, she would have one hell of a cow.
And she is still there, that girl that I adore so very very much. Every day, I will look at her with a large smile on my face and pretend to not care that not being able to walk right up to her and ask her out on a lovely date is killing me.
Because it really does hurt me each and every day, to think that I am yet again in love with someone I cannot have. Typically, it is due to not being liked in return, but I won’t have the chance to find that out.
There is the glaring fact that my parents seem to really want to know who this boyfriend of mine is. They really seem to think that I, silly old me, have a boyfriend; they’ve taken to calling him “Tony”.
And I try so hard to keep a smile while hearing this all. But I may have to tell them that I do not have a boyfriend; I’m in love with a girl
And it is not because I am unlovable that I cannot have her. That may be the rationale that I seem to love placing on that, but not this time.
In this one instance, and this is really what makes it slightly amusing, the reason I knew it could not happen because she is a she. Now, I am not the one opposed to being with a girl, but I have a feeling that my very religious mother and father would flip a table at the mention of that.
Not to forget that my beliefs may also agree that it is not the best idea. Trust me, my small group leader is so very opposed to that idea, and so I really don’t have anywhere I can freely express these feelings and talk it out.
Because I believe in love and what it stands for. So I don't see much of an issue with what I feel, but everything I have been taught has led me to believe there is something wrong with me.
And my may claim that she has no issues with same *** marriage but I know that the view only pertains to those who are not her family. Were I to be that way, she would have one hell of a cow.
And she is still there, that girl that I adore so very very much. Every day, I will look at her with a large smile on my face and pretend to not care that not being able to walk right up to her and ask her out on a lovely date is killing me.
Because it really does hurt me each and every day, to think that I am yet again in love with someone I cannot have. Typically, it is due to not being liked in return, but I won’t have the chance to find that out.
There is the glaring fact that my parents seem to really want to know who this boyfriend of mine is. They really seem to think that I, silly old me, have a boyfriend; they’ve taken to calling him “Tony”.
And I try so hard to keep a smile while hearing this all. But I may have to tell them that I do not have a boyfriend; I’m in love with a girl
