One constant in my unremarkable life The infinite ringing of tinnitus Ignored by methods learned so long ago I could not remember to teach them to you Certainly not fail safe methods With age it seems harder not to listen And lament as it gets louder Slowly, slowly, barely perceptibly Louder As through a screen I listen to things From the dullest congressional hearing To the most exquisite music Of Gustav Mahler and Sigur Rós I know there will come a day I will not be able to dissect the intricacies of a randomly chosen Mahler symphony Or appreciate the perfect bliss Of Jónsi channeling angels Breaking barriers, cerebral and ethereal How will I remember this divine sound When tinnitus masks the music of the spheres? Will my memory ability do it justice? Soon, oh graceful Lord, soon the curse will overshadow the blessing And I will have to stand condemned of it being my own fault It makes me want to cry when I say I'll miss all music For music has been the most trusted and reliable friend I've ever known Sacrificed for what? Persistent ringing But who knows, perhaps the tinnitus Is to keep me from hearing the voices that accompany schizophrenia Perhaps that's the sacrifice, the trade-off Godsent music the price to keep insanity at bay I must not think that way Though my years are getting shorter And tinnitus will surely claim my hearing sooner rather than later I can't let myself feel guilty For basking in the sonic waves of comfort For playing Riceboy Sleeps again Listening for the million musical noises Floating around in the atmosphere like fire flies on a dark, humid summer night There are recordings of ghosts on the record I'm no para psychologist and I don't even believe in ghosts But I swear I hear their mournful cries Pianos in empty rooms Simple melodies picked out by no hand at all Sounds that cannot be identified Pin ***** starlight shines pencil thin bright light beams That show the moths and dustmites hanging from the air Riceboy Sleeps you can wear like a cool coat or hide beneath like a sheet waiting for Answer Man to come get you Stalling, stalling to keep you here until the absolute last minute Something so strong that even tinnitus can never fail to steal it's otherworldly beauty And though it's true I would choose Mahler over Sigur Rós and Jónsi/Alex To be stuck on that desert island with It's only because I think his symphonies would be better tools against boredom, so complex and intricate they are I could live 50 more years and still not have heard what waits in his symphonies Jónsi's voice is carved on my heart I take it with me everywhere I go I will never lose it It is indeed part of me, even as it grows in it's mythology Jónsi will be with me always Even through the gates and down streets of gold Mahler, though, will take a long, long time to work his way into my memory banks Though he my not totally succeed I know I'll get more than enough And the desert island experience Was only made tolerable by those 9 symphonies either in the Claudio Abaddo versions or the Muchael Tilson-Thomas cycle So I keep 'em both And in similar ways my tinnitus is staved off by Message For Bears Immanu El Stafraenn Hakon Yeasayer Jean Sibelius Gregor Samsa ...there are many others Stand against tinnitus Pray a miracle from God To point out Unrecognized silence
Written under the influence of Jónsi & Alex's superb album "Riceboy Sleeps", an album that I cannot recommend highly enough