From the day I was born, my life has ******.
For the longest time, I had no hope, I knew I was ******.
Then, I met someone and a shred of hope was found.
Together my fate with her was bound.
But I was too afraid of change, so I pushed her away,
But, like a good friend, she cared about me no matter what I’d say.
Then, I caused her more pain than anyone could bear,
By fabricating a lie so horrible that forever would she have it to wear.
Torn by betrayal, anger, loss, and guilt,
Around her mental barriers she built.
She vowed to never again trust another,
Not even her wonderful mother.
While I, spiteful as could be,
Laughed, and enjoyed her pain greatly.
Farther and farther into her shell she would recede,
While I continued to marvel at what I could achieve.
Then came a second wind, and with it I felt that which I could not name.
I began to fell empathy, guilt, disappointment, and shame.
And even though I fought all those feelings,
It was evident that I was experiencing a multitude of healings.
However, the healings took far too long,
Because all of those I cared about, her included, were gone.
I thought about what I had done day after day,
Until I finally realized that I could not make my past go away.
I forgave myself and moved on,
But the consequences of my actions were far from gone.
I know that I am a good person now,
But to convince others of that, I don’t know how.
It seems as though people enjoy spreading rumors about me,
But I think it’s the pain they cause me they love to see.
However much pain they cause me, I will not return the attack,
For if I did, into my own self, I would go back…