It’s not right,
It’s not fair!
I want to be with her,
Why can’t life be just a little bit easier!?
Almost 18-years-old,
And still never been kissed!
I’m angry,
I’m sad,
I’m lonely,
I want,
I need,
But I cannot have.
I want to cry,
But the tears just won’t come!
I hate this,
I hate it!
Why can’t it be my turn,
To have something good happen in my life!?
Yeah, meeting her was the best thing,
That has and ever will happen to me,
The thing is,
I want to be able to,
Envelope her in my love,
And show her that,
I’ll give up everything,
I have for her.
Lord, help me!
My heart
Cries out for consolement!
I’m going mad,
I’m losing what little I had!
I want to hold her in my arms,
And give her my heart.
But she has someone,
And I cannot destroy that,
Because that might hurt her,
And doing so would be unforgivable.
I still can’t help how I feel,
And just
Seeing her,
Hearing her,
Knowing her,
Makes me happy.
I still need help,
‘Cuz I’m hurting,
And she’s
The Only
One that
I want
To help me.
Never before
Have I met someone
Who has the same
Effect
She has
On me.
I tremble
Every time she
Touches me.
My heart stutters,
Every time I
Hear her laugh.
I can’t breathe,
Whenever i
Hear her voice.
I can’t think straight,
Whenever she
Smiles at me.
My heart trys,
To jump,
Out of my chest,
Every time I
See her.
I’m sprung,
I’m stuck,
I’m lost,
I’m confused,
I’m changed,
‘Cuz of her.
I feel like
I’m finally alive
‘Cuz of her.
Lord, you know me
Too well.
You used my
One weakness
Against me,
Woke me up,
And showed me,
The pain,
Of the real world.
If it were
Anything else,
I would not be bothered,
But she
Already has
Someone else
So I cannot
Be with her.
Am I being foolish?
Am I not being human enough?
Should I just dive in,
And take her from him?
What a stupid
Question!
The only answer
Is absolutely not.
‘Cuz I would not want
The same done to
Me.
Almost 18 years
Of suffering until
I finally meet
Her and
I finally wake up
To the joy of
Loving someone unconditionally.
Then, all of the
Pain inside
Amplified by the
Fact that it
Cannot be.
The question now
Is:
Do I retreat
Back into my shell,
Or try to
Find another?
It must be
Back to
The shell
‘Cuz there
Isn’t even
The slightest
Chance to
Find someone
That I could ever
Love like I do
Her.
It sucks so
Much ‘cuz
I’ll never know
What could’ve been
Between us.
I hate it,
I hate it,
I HATE IT!
No matter
How much
I write,
The only thing that
Will change
Is the paper
I’m writing on.
She’ll move on
In her life,
I’ll move back
To where
I was so long ago:
Cutting, lying, stealing,
Cheating, hurting, manipulating,
Twisting, hating, no longer being,
The person I tried
So hard to become
To make my life better.
Five years of
Constant, hard work,
18 years of constant,
Unending pain,
All to teach
Me a lesson
That I was taught
By my mother
All those years ago:
I’m not worth it,
I never was.
I don’t matter,
I never did.
No one cares about me,
They never did.
No one can care about me,
They never could.
It’s not worth it,
It never was.
I’ll never make it,
I never had a chance.
I’m not helping,
I’m only making it worse.
I can’t succeed,
I can only fail.
No one could ever love me,
There isn’t anyone who can.
I could never love anyone,
No one would ever accept me.
My life isn’t going anywhere,
It never was.
I was an accident,
I was never meant to be.
In other words: give up…