How to Master the Art of Drowning
by @breecq
See, here’s a topic not many can say
That they have mastered.
Listen close. It is the art of drowning.
First, find some water.
Not too shallow, mind you, or you might fail.
You won’t. Stop frowning.
Secondly, you must not learn how to swim.
Simple enough, yes?
Check for a lifeguard. None? Well that’s perfect.
Get in the water.
You may hold your breath. You’re still new to this.
May be slow, I suspect.
Since you’re just a beginner, flap your arms.
Enjoying it yet?
It’s scary at first, but the fear will fade.
Now relax a bit.
You should start to sink down to the bottom.
Now are you afraid?
Ah yes, if I may,
It’d be easiest just to take that test.
I hear it’s less stress.
Besides, we’d miss you every single day.