Writing poetry is ******* me off lately

I'm just skipping around life right now asking why
at everything

And I mean that sounds potentially poetic and **** but I am having the hardest time articulating
     And It is ******* me off

I usally end up with questions like
Why can't I write poetry
Why won't my English teacher love me

I can tell I am stopping myself from becoming greater
Mr.Owens can tell too
why do I fear becoming grater

I fear loosing balance
I fear this going to fast
This?

I worry I don't read the empty spaces well enough
I worry I forget to breathe

weather it be in poetry or clouds I can not tell you why those empty spaces are there
Or why I need them to have a purpose

Weather it be in loving to much (not Mr. Owens) or getting too exicited about eating I lose my breath alot.
        Time not spent eating or with people you love is time that could have been better spent

And after an eating disorder and a lack of (confidence) for the first some odd years I am happy to give my breath to things I love

I am happy to share my energy with people who want it

I want to write poems about everything
about my love for every thing
         A space to grow is important
and where if not poems or secret conversations

And I'm not doing very well with poems right now
So let's make this a secret conversation

Please by all means give your attention to someone else who needs it or maybe yourself  But if you're just sitting around with it
yes, Ill take some. Thank you.

On a side note: Everyone needs attention it's a living being thing. So it's dumb that we shame people about that and we are gonna stop

If I want to talk about my eating disorder while I have you all captive i will
if I want to talk about the stupid hair at the bottom of my ankles I always miss shaving
I will
And you will sit here and listen

But fortunately I've eaten a good amout today and got so mad at my ankle hairs last night I took the time to shave them

So here we are me talking about what I can talk about and how I can talk about it
You are listening
providing me a space where it is okay to be confused

Something I needed.  
Thank you.