What I'm doing here.
It's weird.
It's gotta land heavy. Sharp.
All of it getting thrown at you at once.
But you're so strong.
I can feel it.
I feel like I've gone so long knowing I can really care about someone and just not doing it!
So I'm gonna do it.
If it ******* kills me.
If I never do it again.
I'm jumping in.

This is the part at the ledge.
Where I grind my teeth and teeter.
Bend my knees and straighten them.

Put my cards in my hand.
Squeeze them.
*** them up because there isn't another round.
Throw them all in.
Throw myself in.

It's not about winning
It's about hoping I win.
It's living or dying and feeling alive either way.

So I'm making roots.

I'm giving you everything.
So if I start to worry,
Lose my resolve.
Think about an easy way out.
Cheat my way out.
Go cold.
Sink in again.
Try to run away.
Pretend you're not important.

I'll have to tear them out.

I don't care what happens.
It's not on you.
It's on me.
For the first time I can remember.
I'm growing.