The announcement came in whisper
Enough to halt my step - before I casually dismissed it
And tended to normality
The sound hardly raised an echo through the hills and valleys
- Just an eyebrow -
With a puzzled, momentary stare
Not dissimilar to the glitch in an 8mm reel
A slight rattle before the return to the hum of the wheel
The following fall the snow came early
Hills donned their blanket begrudgingly – while surely
Icy wind still found a way under the covers
Like rolling over onto cold during the night of an absent lover
He noticed icicles forming in remotest parts of him
Memories once buried and forgotten
Pushing through colder earth
Waiting to be heard and no sign of melting
For how long could he tread stubbornness through a winter eternal?
Endless, far-reaching – stretching on…and on
His cheeky smile of macho, at first
Reflecting comically on smooth ice
Fast turned to a grimace
As pain set in…and in
Seeping through to his secret room
Secret reserves of softer flesh
Secret underbelly of man, secret…my secret
Precious…
Behind the vault of my mind
And when I put my ear against the steel
I heard the words:
“Find the sun”
The words became warmth – no glow
Just rising mercury – no winter thaw
Just heart pounding harder – no volcano
Just a chest expanding – no spectacle fireworks
Just shoulders pulling back
Head tilting forward
Back straightening
Frown smoothing
Eyes focusing their blue
Turning inward
Reflecting my soul back to me
On the surface of this unpolished armour
I began to see
The form of a man I once knew
I studied his contour
Piecing together the shapes - as if with fingers in my mind
Of this recognizable stranger
Brainwork searching voraciously, linking spaces
Between brief gaps in this blizzard
I peered into the blackness
And as I searched for this seeming phantom
The more lost I became – the more wanton,
In a strange twist of mood and fate
The more I vainly called to him
The louder, the clearer, even through mist
So great was my craving
My despair at the thought of being too late
But when I still and silent was
While listening patiently for a clue
Then did I see him – glimpses at first
Then everywhere, in full colour, bold in hue
Humbled now and ever more quiet
I immersed myself in this tapestry of being
All around me the ice had melted
And for a while now I could not remember the night
Nor the cold, nor the fear, nor even the fright
Behind not knowing
Just who it was that began this journey
That prompted the call that started the learning
That whispered the word that so, so long ago
Ignited the spark that led to the rage of this inferno
That broke the seal on all that
At one time, appeared so real -
That drove me to that forsaken place
Where I was forced to stare at a twisted face
Contorted in pain and unknown
To me and lined with the strain
Of bearing dreams so not my own