She reached for something
Anything sharp enough to draw blood
She needed to feel pain
It knew everything about her
And it never failed to distract her from life
It seemed to her like a best friend
Most of the time even better
No one knew of her secret pleasure
They only knew the mask
The mask of a smart, beautiful, laughing girl
They couldn't see the struggling beneath
All the hurt and confusion
She no longer wanted the relief of a knife
She longed for more than blood and pain could offer
It's magic was quickly fading
Next she wanted and end to everything
Sure they'd talk
But not for long
Call her selfish, weak, and ungrateful
No one would ever understand
Weeks dragged on as thoughts consumed her mind
Rope, bridge, trigger, overdose... the options overwhelming
But she'd made her long- awaited decision
That night she felt the icy trigger on her fingertips
The tip of the gun imprinted on the roof of her mouth
Tears flooded down her face
She'd made the worst possible mistake
She'd started to think
She though about her life
About the numerous times she'd sat there before
In that same place on the edge of her bed
She didn't want to play this game with herself again
Her grip tightened
A shot rang out
A beautiful soul was lost forever