i remember the joking
   the sarcasm
and the solitude

    and your confusion...
   ... with me

and your disappointment
or so you once said
it started and ended there, though
   with that one statement
you weren't hurtful
i don't think you wanted that
and it did make me sad
but it also made me love you all the more

that was you
             one statement
said and then put aside
which had a bigger impact on me
than anyone else has had since

i am you

in my joking
   my sarcasm
and especially my solitude
of which i don't know whether to thank
or curse you for

i do miss you
   your intelligence
         your poise

and your love, dad
i miss that most of all.