Aching
It eats away at you and starves you hungry
You guard it, store it for winter or a rainy day
But eventually
You're convinced more will never come
Once this is all gone
And you're more afraid of the not knowing
Then the waiting
So you go over and over and over in your mind
Wondering and doubting and trembling
Pretty soon it'll have eaten all you have and you were so busy worrying you didn't taste what was in front of you
You ached with hunger all those years trying to preserve the it
But it dwindled despite all your guarding and storing for those rainy days
You wanted it so long, so bad, you sacrificed not having it so you could have it longer
Except now it's gone
And you never got what you really ached for
Out of fear of losing it all some day
You were cautious and careful and strategic and a planner and a realist
All the things not needed in love.