May 2015
If this emission reaches anyone acquainted, strange, or foe; this is where I currently am in the universe. This will be boring to anyone, especially strangers. Im afraid this will also be mostly depressing.
I'm tired of being ill. I know longer take or use anything to numb the pain in my legs from past worker's compensation injuries. My tibia is never not aching. The muscle in my right bicep has been stiff and rigid since my last steriod injection over a month ago.
I'm stuck at home mostly. I constantly disappoint my friends, or so it feels. It has nothing to do with them, but I have anxiety when I try to respond to pleas for visitation. Allie is the only creature I can talk to anymore. Although she is a dog, I feel, or personify, that she knows on days that I'm feeling depressed.
I still haven't been working regular jobs, I don't know if I could. I've been doing odd jobs and various things when I'm able. The vegetable garden is doing great, so far, this year. All the different plants are planted almost perfectly along what part of the lunar phase that they need. The flower garden started off well, but is going through a rough patch. One knock rose bush contracted a disease and died. About four more have been ravaged by ants, even though better food sources have been provided. Wasn't able to attract a colony of Martins again this year due to sparrows being aggressive to the scouts. Barn Swallows moved in instead.
This paragraph will just be miscallenous things. No longer do I have any social media accounts, besides this place. If anyone from Twitter still reads here, I didn't block you I just deleted my Twitter. I've started to make a habit of getting angry at myself and getting my head shaved. I'm still a vegetarian. I squee'd like a little girl when Eel Hamburger was crowned the Super King of the Spring season of Fishcenter. It has been in the years, I think, since I have been photographed. My current avatar here is from age 19, and I'm now into my mid to late 20's. I have no romantic interest at the moment, but I don't think I have much to offer to a relationship besides vegetables, nonjudgmental attitude, and odd ramblings. I'm also not really "on the prowl" for ladies. I own a model boat now! I've also became a fan of saltybet. My anxiety for being touched hasn't gotten any better. I hate being touched or hugged by anyone, unless they ask. That is something that started and got a lot worse in the last year or so. I've been lazy about following this baseball season. Rain is something I still wish for more. My love for various beans is still growing. Eel Hamburger and Earthbound fan art are things that make me smile the hardest at the moment.
Now we get to the biggest turn off of the things I talk about. Where am I in the dream world? I'm still working on being an active dreamer. I have a few reoccurring dreams. No point in explaining those because they are uncontrollable and purely anxiety preparation dreams. There has been people that I know that are often in my dreams. One person that I always wanted to talk to in reality, but I don't force my presence of that person in my dreams. Often I try to get away from thrm to leave them in peace. Friends are often there with a few lines or in the background. The most frequent setting is the mall, which I rarely go in reality. That is also where I see that person the most, the next frequent is a field.
The most curious thing about recent dreams is the appearance of two items. One is a white fleece blanket, and the other is an eight speed mountain bike. The blanket first appeared in a dream that I felt cornered. I folded it neatly into a layered square and set it on the floor. After staring at it for a few moments, I sat down on top. I instantly knew what it could do. Without any physical effort, I began to slide across the ground at great speeds that I can control. I can't leave the setting, but I can go anywhere in the setting. This means I can think of what will be there when I arrive further in the setting. I have found this item in various places or in my hands in many recent dreams.
The second item is a little more unstable. I found the bike after grinding down an escalator on the blanket. Putting the blanket under my shirt, I got onto the bike. With this I was to pedal into the white abyss from anywhere. I could crash the dream there or channel my thoughts into making a new setting. I could then shoulder the bike on my back and ride around the new setting on my blanket. I had a dream in the mall that I was hiding from that person. I took a nap in my dream on a mall bench. I woke up and my watch said 6:04. Looked up to see two men running away with the dream bike. I have not seen it since, but I still have the blanket.
Nothing else in my life deserves any greater detail than what was given here. Sorry to the strangers that read this. Best wishes and luck to everyone out there. Remember to find joy in all the seasons. As long as it shines the moon or brings rain, there is no reason to complain.
I'm tired of being ill. I know longer take or use anything to numb the pain in my legs from past worker's compensation injuries. My tibia is never not aching. The muscle in my right bicep has been stiff and rigid since my last steriod injection over a month ago.
I'm stuck at home mostly. I constantly disappoint my friends, or so it feels. It has nothing to do with them, but I have anxiety when I try to respond to pleas for visitation. Allie is the only creature I can talk to anymore. Although she is a dog, I feel, or personify, that she knows on days that I'm feeling depressed.
I still haven't been working regular jobs, I don't know if I could. I've been doing odd jobs and various things when I'm able. The vegetable garden is doing great, so far, this year. All the different plants are planted almost perfectly along what part of the lunar phase that they need. The flower garden started off well, but is going through a rough patch. One knock rose bush contracted a disease and died. About four more have been ravaged by ants, even though better food sources have been provided. Wasn't able to attract a colony of Martins again this year due to sparrows being aggressive to the scouts. Barn Swallows moved in instead.
This paragraph will just be miscallenous things. No longer do I have any social media accounts, besides this place. If anyone from Twitter still reads here, I didn't block you I just deleted my Twitter. I've started to make a habit of getting angry at myself and getting my head shaved. I'm still a vegetarian. I squee'd like a little girl when Eel Hamburger was crowned the Super King of the Spring season of Fishcenter. It has been in the years, I think, since I have been photographed. My current avatar here is from age 19, and I'm now into my mid to late 20's. I have no romantic interest at the moment, but I don't think I have much to offer to a relationship besides vegetables, nonjudgmental attitude, and odd ramblings. I'm also not really "on the prowl" for ladies. I own a model boat now! I've also became a fan of saltybet. My anxiety for being touched hasn't gotten any better. I hate being touched or hugged by anyone, unless they ask. That is something that started and got a lot worse in the last year or so. I've been lazy about following this baseball season. Rain is something I still wish for more. My love for various beans is still growing. Eel Hamburger and Earthbound fan art are things that make me smile the hardest at the moment.
Now we get to the biggest turn off of the things I talk about. Where am I in the dream world? I'm still working on being an active dreamer. I have a few reoccurring dreams. No point in explaining those because they are uncontrollable and purely anxiety preparation dreams. There has been people that I know that are often in my dreams. One person that I always wanted to talk to in reality, but I don't force my presence of that person in my dreams. Often I try to get away from thrm to leave them in peace. Friends are often there with a few lines or in the background. The most frequent setting is the mall, which I rarely go in reality. That is also where I see that person the most, the next frequent is a field.
The most curious thing about recent dreams is the appearance of two items. One is a white fleece blanket, and the other is an eight speed mountain bike. The blanket first appeared in a dream that I felt cornered. I folded it neatly into a layered square and set it on the floor. After staring at it for a few moments, I sat down on top. I instantly knew what it could do. Without any physical effort, I began to slide across the ground at great speeds that I can control. I can't leave the setting, but I can go anywhere in the setting. This means I can think of what will be there when I arrive further in the setting. I have found this item in various places or in my hands in many recent dreams.
The second item is a little more unstable. I found the bike after grinding down an escalator on the blanket. Putting the blanket under my shirt, I got onto the bike. With this I was to pedal into the white abyss from anywhere. I could crash the dream there or channel my thoughts into making a new setting. I could then shoulder the bike on my back and ride around the new setting on my blanket. I had a dream in the mall that I was hiding from that person. I took a nap in my dream on a mall bench. I woke up and my watch said 6:04. Looked up to see two men running away with the dream bike. I have not seen it since, but I still have the blanket.
Nothing else in my life deserves any greater detail than what was given here. Sorry to the strangers that read this. Best wishes and luck to everyone out there. Remember to find joy in all the seasons. As long as it shines the moon or brings rain, there is no reason to complain.
