My friend died last night, his mother said, so you should probably stop smoking. But he was more concerned with giving away his dog and shooting himself in the face.
Blowing raspberries didn’t stop the advancing train that left bruises on either of her shoulders, or left her compacted and hung-over the next morning.
And she was screaming like a banshee trapped inside a locket, when he finally bent her over and said You are beautiful, do not let anyone ever tell you any different.
She might have lost the polish from driving a stick shift for an hour or chewing them, worried about deer leaping into windshields, but that is why lesbians don’t paint their nails.
So when he finally slammed her foot into the side of his dresser, all she could do was lay there and bite, losing more of her sheen into the divots she dug in the skin on his back.