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speechless pills

I have no voice, **Because I have been vomiting up pills each and every morning, getting into my old anna habits you may say,** I don't wanna live on an ADHD diet, **the pills fuck with me, I'm 174.0lb please,** *I am a little heavy, but it's to the point where,* I was 220, and I could barely breath, when I had a panic attack, so my mom is helping me lose weight, but pills that make me starve myself, are ones I wanna do without, so I vomit each day before I eat, after I consume the pills, because she won't let me get off them, you think im crazy, but I've lost my weight the way I wanted to, *changed my eating styles, getting rid of the junk food,* eating healthy, trying to get over some of my sensory issues, without having to take a fucking ADHD pill for the last month, *I've lost more weight doing that, then skipping a meal because I had no hunger, due to medication,* But I'm being healthy about it, But I'm also not, because I told you, I vomit my pills everyday, so I'm losing my voice, like I did, In my elementary school days,
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Written by
GodDamnItCat
Published
May 24, 2015
Lines·Words
34·204
Notes

NOTE: I am not vomiting my pills, I am just yelling at my mom over them, why I have no voice, But I'd love to of lost my weight the right way, and I have gotten desperate enough to do that, but still she refuses, so, I can really get off my meds, plus I need them even more now I have a concussion, but I just want to do it the right way, not just the way bc I am taking pills and they have a side effect that's helping me out with another thing. but I thought it be a good way to compare my feeling on weight loss and how they're different from before, I am also a over/binge eater. so I have problems with that. eating is something I do to cope with things so its not good, so I am trying to stop eating and cutting and burning and all those things at once when I am upset, and its very hard. I've been making people food when I'm upset. but that cost a lot of money so I cant keep doing that.

Tags
#pills#anxiety#voice#meals#adhd#vomit#speechless#add#panicattacks#anna
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