No emotions what so ever,
Iv become cold and numb
Like the winters frozen water
Every day I feel emptier n emptier
I know Im supposed to feel some type of feeling but what is there to feel anymore I go on with life day by day in saudade  just reminiscing  on the past and questioning my future , wondering if Ill ever feel happy if Id ever fall in love again but just the thought of it scares me. I go by meeting new ppl every day getting to know them, they start to feel something towards me and me?? Oh nothing I cant feel a thing for no one maybe Im not ready, maybe its not the right time, maybe it was just not ment  for me.
I constantly try to build emotions and try to create a picture but nothing its just a blank sheet.
my feeling are all gone my heart has become numb and defensive . I guess it got tired of being treated like it was nothing, now it treats others like nothing.
I've  become who I said Id never become a cold hearted person that doesnt give a **** about nothing is this good or bad, iv pushed away many and iv used others for my convenience, iv used her as a shield to feel safe to have someone I can come to when Im drunk at 4am but after those drinks leave my system and quilty pleasure is made shes no longer needed
Ive miss treated family members cause they once miss treated me and iv become bitter and hateful cant even talk to them cause a rush of anger builds up
What have I become ?
Just another emotionless person running around breaking hearts cause it desires comfort for just a few minutes because its lost and doesnt know what to feel,
Or just another person that seeks revenge n constantly hates the elderly ?
Daze in n daze out Ive slowly dazed into the un none zone were nothing makes sense anymore .