I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YOU

Have you ever dialed a number many miles away
Knowing when the bill comes in your the one to pay
Sometimes a voice will come with a dull and caring sound
"You must dial this number if you want some public hound"

Then another voice will ask if your wanting some fat cat
So dial another number, well, we won't go into that
Then in a place of business you'll get a voice that says
"We're busy now but hold the line, we'll get back to you"

With a firm hand on the phone, you sit and grit your teeth
You curse and yell and count to ten so no one else can tell
When suddenly the phone goes dead and a tinny silence greets you
Now some buggers cut you off and the air turns thick and blue

I have a lovely daughter who's turned that yuppy corner
I'm calling her tomorrow with all my woes and sorrow
And if I find she's out, I'll talk to her machine
Oh how I hate that awful man made thing that says:

"Well hello how are you, right now I'm not at home
But if you leave a message after the beep, I will ring you later"
Now I don't mind if no one's home, cos I'll just try again
But if I get another machine I think I'll go insane

I stepped into my kitchen, there's a grin on hubby's face
And from this thing that sat there I heard to my disgrace
"Well hello how are you, right now I'm not at home
But leave a message after the beep, I'll get right back to you"

Did you guess I'm leaving home and heading for the hills
No machine or telephones, someone else can pay the bill.