In the vast difference between what I wanted to be and what I am The temptation is to count missed opportunities To what extraterrestrial province has my Muse flown? My legacy has been the evolution of an unhealthy obsession with death A defiant ******* when plenty of years buffered from consequence Getting used to the fear Never forget the times I was high on potent hydro and paranoia kicked in I thought I'd be dead on the ground in a matter of moments Those times I wondered what the hell was wrong with me in courting the Reaper Slippery medications knocked me down, metaphorically and some of the fear Is replaced by numbness and a desire to leave Take me in my sleep, o Eternal One, just don't let me wake up Alas I keep waking up And it comes down to giving up everything I have and know Totally submerged in amnesia In hopes that what comes after will be better in it's unique way No brain to process senses so you might as view them as the wave of the past I'd pay for mental telepathy and full reign of an active imagination I helped create in this life So in the chasm between what I hoped to be and what I am The potential for hope, even miracles stockpiling and inventorying blessings They have their own expectations All too rarely amused but **** 'em In that chasm life still conducts business Handshakes are still exchanged There's no reason to give up hope In that vacuous cave death and joy do a dance, ambition sings a number with missed chances Like me Charlie Have you got a bowl of that hydro and a light? I need the big reminder Coming soon Love sonnets to a young Linda Blair