How I wish I could grow up.
The lines I perceive as mature understanding.
Crumble under their critical eyes.
And they are right: no lies,
Justice is not in my favour.

How I wish I could grow up.
Be sophisticated, beautiful, kind.
Upright, strong willed, as she is.
But I am I, in my awkward grace,
And it is not to be.

How I wish I were alive.
Immune to frivolous banter of all sorts,
Breathing in the air of each moment I live,
Sharing everything I have to give,
Laughing, crying, hurting wholeheartedly.

How I wish I were memorable.
The girl who helped us all, our friend.
She’s within reach, yet in an unchanging abyss,
I’m almost there, but I always miss
Her; Standing in front of the mirror.

How I wish I had control.
Over my emotions, my thoughts,
Insecurities, fears, doubts, concerns,
And on my heart, every little burn,
To be able to resist temptation.

How I wish I was understood.
Scouring eyes would find me, inside.
Solve the puzzle; fix it;
The pieces, together, a perfect fit;
And it would be duly appreciated.

How I wish I could grow up.
Move with integrity, honesty, frankness,
A fiery mix of pain, friendship and love.
Ravishing; stunning; exquisite;
And the phoenix would rise from the ashes.