I want to call him
and tell him that I wish
he was here,
to cuddle me to sleep
and tell me that everything is
going to be fine.
Tomorrow and the day after that.
I want to tell him that I can't
stop pulling out my hair,
and that my anxiety is sky rocketing.
I want to tell him that I miss him
and I love you.
But I won't.
Because I have to try to go to
sleep on my own.