You were older than me
now I am older than you

can ever be

(forever 18 &
forever dead) .

I felt so guilty
when I passed that age

wishing I could exchange
some of the life I had

so that you could experience
the life you never knew.

I used to talk to
your grave

as if it were you...

Always beginning: “Hiya, kid...”

Now I find you
everywhere instead

the sunlight on the garden

smiles like you did

the ladybird stumbling
over the furrows of my fingerprint

has the same graceful
awkwardness

your body lent to every movement.

You are younger
than me

& will always be.

And I
am older

than you


...will ever know.