If I hold on tight,
If I dig my nails in
Into my cold hands
And never let go.

If I squeeze and squeeze,
Fists clenched,
Knuckles white,
I just might be able to contain it.
Rewind the disaster, stop the explosion.
Keep the glass from shattering
And the gases from escaping.

Face my head to the midnight sky,
Arms at my side,
Stay rooted in my spot,
The stars reflecting in my eyes.

I wonder if people know
That there’s a war going on
Inside myself
Just yards outside their bedroom windows.

If they saw what was possible,
What could burn down their houses,
Crack open their skulls
Or tear off their limbs,
Would they grab their children,
Hide wherever it’s most safe,
And pray to God that it all ends soon?

A ticking time bomb
Is what I am.
Does the world end now?
Or can I fend it off for a little bit longer?