I'm going to need this pain to end
And its not the kind felt daily, which is the problem itself

Numb against wishing for numbness

I want the homeostasis of a life with two parents

I can't hold each piece of myself in both hands hoping to make something of it if I'm constantly tearing them apart

I need you and youre gone.
I needed you and you left.

The pieces I hold dont even reflect a full picture, you took those pieces with you.



the most important in some cases; my youth

I hate you but youre not here
I love you but youre not here

How can I feel so much for someone I can't touch
Someone whose touch I can't even remember

In fifth grade I wanted to play the saxophone because I didn't know what a trumpet looked like. But you weren't there for my first concert or to fix my mistake.

When people say I'm reminded of you the sun comes close to my face but I burn up. I feel the warmth before it destroys me and I remember you're not here and you won't be back.