Another night of the week,
Another time I can't find the energy to sleep.
Another's words cutting me deep,
Another night I lay alone and I weep.

Even though I'm confused and unsure,
I still believe I know what I'm looking for.
Wishing I could just jump into this bottle,
Go for a swim, or a drive; feel control over some kind of throttle,
But I'm drowning in my own sea of emotions,
Trying to ride out the tide, and go with the flow of this angry ocean.

I just like to chase away this feeling,
I no longer like to feel numb; emotionless and daydreaming.
This poison takes away the greater pain,
It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel sane.

And even though I'm scared to have my heart broken again,
I wish so much to be swept of my feet, to no longer be wary of men.
As much as I enjoy running wild and free,
I wish for someone to accept the real me.
We may not all get our happy ending,
But at least I wear my heart on my sleeve; I've never been good at pretending.

I'll sip just once more this evening,
Then clean myself up, wash off this evidence of bleeding.
**** this feeling.
**** these tears; stinging,
And I guess **** all sleep, there won't be any dreaming.