i wish i could tell you how much i don’t miss your touch anymore.
how much i shudder at the very thought of it.
i wish i could tell you why i only take burning
hot showers. i want every memory of you
gone from my skin.
every possible reminder of what you did to me erased.
loving you was like being sentenced to prison
for a crime i was brainwashed into believing i committed.
your hands were the iron bars that knew what
you were holding in, knew that i was innocent.
has every girl had to do this?
have we all wanted every kiss you planted on our bodies undone?
god, you disgust me. i disgust me.
i never asked for all the force you used,
or your invasions, or your eruptions.
i shouldn’t have felt as if i was walking on eggshells
with someone who was supposed to love me.
you had me locked up, pinned down, restrained
for one year of my life, & i am finally free.

i am finally free.