I've been stretching inside my skin
I've been feeling these brick borders
for cracks to pick away at
I've been looking for a city to get lost in
because the air here is heavy.
Because the air here is toxic.
Because I am unable to walk through the door
without a hazmat suit.


I never was comfortable indoors.
The lack of sunshine made me wilt.
I was dying to get out
I was dying to get out
I was dying
And so was everything else
It makes sense, if you think about it
There's something cozy about the way
Tree branches tangle and hold each other

I wonder if mother nature
gets depressed in the winter too
I wonder if the word 'stay'
will ever stop feeling like a ticking time bomb.
Like a synonym for Already Gone.
I wonder if the word 'stay'
sounds like slamming doors to you too.

As a perpetually cold person,
I think it takes longer for indifference to thaw.
I think it takes longer to warm up to people
When I'm busy counting
goosebumps like stars
And waiting for spring
to scrub the remnants of ice
from the front yard (and my lungs)

I'm still waiting to breathe again.