we stayed inside that night
swishing cold drinks around with our tongues
letting it drown out the ringing we heard
and stop the sweat gathering between
our fingers

and you grabbed me playfullly
while i was sitting in the blue chair
i hope you remember
that

i stared at myself in the bathroom afterwards
later that night
standing there reciting bukowski
to my swollen eyes and
broken jaw

my lipstick was blending in with my
flushed cheeks
and i remember

you were going to kiss it entirely
off of me in one sitting
and i swear i was going to let you
until i started thinking about

my nylons ripping and my shyness
unmasking itself as some mental illness
and that stranger walking in and shouting
telling you there is a mountain to be climbing
and a song to be written and
a friend to be helping and you’re
trying with this girl?

she’s terrified of birds
just cause they have the capability
to do what she cannot
flee—
she wants yellow
but it’s dark green
needs pills to be civil
and wine to be social
she wants nights
not days

she just wants the rain
she wants the rain
the rain

and the rain

every single day

and you and i both know
we have no control
over the sun