it's not your fault, i think, as you smile in your sleep.
so upside down inside and out blue and red then yellow and purple
i am a swirling sea of color, never settled
tide in, tide out
in tampa bay there are two tides.
you are not always on my mind, nothing is always on my mind,
maybe just a fear of high tide.
You are the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault, i think, as i'm sinking i try to hold on but
there's more than one kind of addiction.
precisely!
you can quantify any data you'd like.
you are a candle on a window sill late at night, you are sunshine
which sometimes i feel too dark to be allowed in, but
the sun always helps.
You are the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault, i know, as i storm angrily to bed
lay towards the wall
looking at the wall
choosing the wall
while you ask "can i come in?" i enjoy saying "no" to hear you ask it
again persistent. you are better than rain or ocean or snow.
you are someone to grow with. but my anger is stronger than reason or the world would be a better place.
You are the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault!
i understand, yearning to be held, felt, touched
my thoughts shut down like broken links in a fence, but instead of letting something in i keep you out.
you can't touch me because i want to be the rulemaker of our game.
when i was a kid they never let me play.
it's not your fault
You are the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault,
i think, as i struggle to breathe. is this asthma or anxiety?
will the migraines ever stop? will my excuses for pain ever feel like they are allowed to be real. you see me.
you help. you don't ask. i've never been so felt before.
You are the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault,
i wonder, as you lay there in your sleep
i will always question life more than perhaps another
am i meant to be a Mother? will i doubt my child from the day it's born because it's mine? will i give them scorn?
would you be a father with a mother like me?
You are the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault
i wonder if i should leave
after my blows, only trying to hurt.
you are only here for me but i can make anything ugly with time.
i hope this sickness doesn't spread. please only take my head, leave him alone.
He is the most beautiful thing i know.

it's not your fault.
sometimes i'm melodramatic, or when the mood strikes pragmatic.
but never the same.
sometimes i think i should leave, but
i can't.
you are sunlight in the window, you are glass in the mirror,
you are steady and patient and far more than i deserve,
you are a quiet reserve.
you are a new park to watch the sun set
you are a life i haven't met yet
you are more beautiful than rain, ocean and snow,
You are the most beautiful thing i know.