When you look at a pair of hands and just know that having them in yours would make the panic go away.
The tight bundle of nerves in your stomach would ease into excitement rather than fear at the sensation of being laced with someone else.
Touch never has to be ****** but it is almost always sensual and god, I want the tickling burn of hands moving up and down my forearm,
nails scraping a little so that it awakens the senses but doesn't overwhelm them.
The feeling of being physically alone is a constant weight on my chest- when I see a happy couple, I'm not jealous of their closeness or their happiness, it just reminds me that I am, in fact alone.
The hugs and touches I get are familial, friendly because people like to trust me but never get close enough to love me.