I press the C key on my piano
and it left the soft sound ring though the empty room
My fingers glide onto the rest of the piano
Light shines in through the window
the sunset begging for my attention as it takes it’s last few breaths
I let out a huff of air
in this cold,
cold
room.
I watch the steam evaporate into nothingness
and in that glimpse peace I press the keys down,
fingers shaking.
As the song continues to play
sweat falls from my forehead
to my cheek
to my lips
and drips off of my chin.
The coldness in the room never changing.
And eventually,
the last note fills the room up
but still it leaves as quickly as it appeared
bringing the space back to the way it was before,
uncomfortable and silent
I stand up,
the bench screeching backwards
and my slow steps make it to the window
the window where the sunset once was
but instead of beautiful colors
I stare at black.
not quite dark enough for stars
but dark enough for it to be considered night
I stare at the darkness and think,
If this is what life is really about
why is it worth living?
if we are supposed to struggle hours throughout the day
just to see the sunset for thirty minutes
and to be set back into darkness
what is the point?
I clutch my hands together behind my back
Would you please tell me the point?
My hand reaches up and gently touches
the cool glass.
I focus on my slight reflection on the window.
My eyes staring into my eyes.
and even though I was looking into my eyes
I didn't feel as though I was making eye contact with myself.
In this moment,
I felt like I did not exist.
As if nothing is existing except my reflection
And that’s when I realize that this is all anyone sees
My reflection
My cover.
They don't see me.