and i asked him
(my younger self)
why he followed
the road to nowhere
with so much resolve
he said he had never
seen it before
and had no reason to
fear what he never felt
he possesses the recklessness i wish
i had
he totally lacks confidence
yet acts the opposite
as it's all he's ever had
i suddenly feel
corrupted by my small victories
if every endeavor
should end with
that small high he
would soon feel
after following his heart,
not his head.
and i know he will chastise
himself for that.
for ignoring his head,
his intelligence that he feels so proud of.
his defining feature.
I hope one day I can believe him.
But he will be stepping backwards.