i lack bravery, it seems.
to tell you what my silence means.
but with this writing i will always be
courageous and open with my feelings.

truth be told,
a light within me stops its beams
from bursting through
every time i think of you with her.

the image lingers and i wonder...
i'm nothing special.

those moments didn't mean anything.
you've been doing it with everyone else.

i'm still at peace, though.
i'm still not as afraid as i used to be.
i thank God i'm not as afraid as i used to be.
that summer. you tore my nerves in pieces.
i was in fear of not being able to tell my legs and my arms a part.
i was sinking. no one cared.
as much as i was hurting and sick,
it was game to those who were well and fair.

i'm stronger now. you won't do me the same.
i will be able to sleep at night and be comfortable with my
pain.

you can build up your ego all you want,
you can flirt with every woman in the room,
but you will not tear my nerves asunder
like you successfully did that summer.
my strength you will not remove.