you called me sunshine when I felt like rain.
You erased my worries and made a strange world feel like home.
You asked the things I could never ask myself.
Little did I know, you were the one who needed me to do the same for you.
But I was broken and blind.
I couldn't see your pain through your big smile.
You needed something but you never asked.
Maybe your confidence was just a show to hide your reality.
We both know lying was not  new to you.
You told lies almost as much as you laughed, that means all the time.
I tried to offer you the world but you let drugs get the best of you.
You were tumbling down without a clue.
Your darkness left everyone you knew alone, covered in dust.
I hate to say, you dragged me down with you.
You abandoned me time and time again
But for some reason I still loved you even though I never said it.
And the one time I did, the look in your eyes killed me.
And I'm sorry I always doubted you
But you must know I doubted everyone.
I'm sorry I told you good bye.
I miss you every day.
Don't think I abandoned you. I make sure to watch over you.
I think of ways that I could maybe see your face again.
But never do I attempt my plan, because I'm drowning in fear.
And I try to convince myself you don't need me and you don't want me.
But the way you light up when you see me makes me think maybe just maybe you do like having me around.
But then again
you always were a good liar.
This all leads to where we are today.
I'm in the arms of my lover.
His warm embrace and gentle kisses.
He fills me up with sweet honey and sprinkles glitter in my eyes.
I laughed today.
I heard you laughed too.
You laughed the lies you've been telling since your mother left you in the dirt.
You hold a different girl everyday.
You say you love but if that is true,
Why can I only see your burning desires?
You kiss the girls necks and move to their lips.
At the end of the day, she'll be gone
and you'll be passed out on the bedroom floor.
You're a mess.
A sweet sweet mess.
Oh darling, I'm sorry.
I'm watching over you, but I must move on.
I can't help you today.
Not until you help yourself.