April is all graveyards and hauntings
I see carnations instead of tulips,
I see your ghost everywhere

she & I talk in hushed tones on the phone
sentences breaking under the
weight of the words they hold

I wonder if you know that all I want
is to love one person as much as she loves you
and here I am seeing your spirit in their bones
and all I know how to do is to
throw rope to anyone who will catch it
because even when I am sinking,
I'm shoving someone else to the surface

I am trying to save
the bits and pieces of you
as if I pull this one away from darkness,
I am saving you,
as if I push that one toward the light,
I am saving myself

I wonder what you'd say
if you knew I'd all but
abandoned my religion
what you'd say
if I told you all of the
memories taste bittersweet
I wonder what you'd say if I told you
that nothing you built up was
strong enough to
soften the blow
and nothing you'd say now matters
because you tore it all down